


Little Shit

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [92]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:27:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Phil is a little shit</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Shit

**Author's Note:**

> "Where are you, you little shit?" Tony asked JARVIS to broadcast his voice into the whole mansion.

"Tony, that’s not how you talk to children." Steve reprimanded him, unintentionally broadcasting his voice too.

Bruce and Natasha went to the park to avoid the stress. Well, technically Bruce did. Natasha just wanted out of the baby-sitting gig. None of the Avengers could blame her. She  _just_  got back from stopping a nuclear war from starting over on the borders of China and Russia, and she deserved a break before she actually killed anyone in the tower.

Tony groaned. “I give up. Let’s call Pepper.” There was unanimous protest so Tony just grumbled and sat back on the couch, which Thor was looking under for signs of the ‘little shit’. “Barton, I swear to God. If you don’t get your boyfriend in line, I will not hesitate to test my new mini missile guiding system on him.” Tony threatened.

"AHA! So you  _are_  my boyfriend!” 16-year-old Coulson shouted from down the hall, The Avengers quickly turned and ran down the hall, but there was no signs of the boy. “I knew I didn’t have it in me to pass up that hot ass.” The voice now came from the living room. _  
_

"I did not know of this union. Congratulations Eye of Hawk. The Son of Coul is a great warrior deserving of your affections." Thor pat Clint on the back with the force of a small car.

"I thought Agent Coulson had a girl in Portland?" Steve asked.

"He thinks your ass is hot?" Tony added.

"We’re not together." Clint pointed at Thor. "I think he broke up with her? I don’t know, man." He shrugged at Steve. "And my ass is hot. You’re just jealous coz you can’t tap this." He stuck his tongue out at Tony before running off to the living room, followed by the other two blonds.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Okay. This is pointless and I am tired." Tony admitted after 45 more minutes of running around the tower, looking for Phil. Beside him, Steve rested his head on the back of the couch, glaring at the ceiling. Leave it to Phil Coulson to annoy even the living legend that is Captain America. "Wait." Tony sat up straight, making the other men look at him. "Wait."

"We are." Steve told him.

"I have a plan."

"Does it involve explosives? If it does, then it’s a no, Tony." Steve asked, closing his eyes he was so not going to deal with this shit now.

"No. Strangely it doesn’t. I just- We need to trap him. We need to get him inside a room, and when he is, we lock him in until the spell wears off in, say, a few hours, max."

"Yes, I think that plan will fare well. It is better than having to chase him around the tower, leaving us weary and irritated." Thor agreed.

"But for your plan to work, you’ll need to catch him and get him  _in_  a room.” Clint informed them.

"Not necessarily." Tony grinned. 

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

The genius’ grin turned sly “We just need bait.” Tony, Thor and Steve all looked at Clint with varying degrees of amusement.

—-

Clint hated this plan. He’s expressed it very verbally before he stepped into the gym.

Tony, Steve and Thor were all in Tony’s workshop watching every entrance and every movement. They all watched as Clint straddled the bench and began pumping, flexing his arms and generally putting on a G-rated show to lure Coulson into the room.

It took 10 minutes before there was movement in the gym aside from Clint’s. 

"There. By the mats." Steve pointed at the screen. 

Tony moved quickly and locked the gym from the outside. Trapping both Clint and Phil in the same room together. They high-fived each other and moved to the living room to finally enjoy some peace and quiet. Steve had asked JARVIS to tell them when the spell had worn off. 

Like Tony had said, it didn’t take more than a few hours for the spell to lose its magic, 4 hours to be exact. They had taken turns watching the feed, and it seemed like Clint was simply talking to Phil to pass the time.

They were all watching Star Trek when JARVIS had alerted them that Phil was back. 

"Pull up the feed, J." Tony said and a holographic screen appeared before the three to show Clint and fully grown Coulson still talking. The audio was top of the line, but they all knew that both agents could be quiet when they wanted/needed to. 

They watched as Clint rubbed the back of his neck and smiled at Coulson. Phil said something in return and the next thing the three men watching knew, there was kissing. A lot of kissing. And noises. Dirty, dirty noises as the agents swapped saliva. And stripping, there was a flurry of stripping each other and touching and groping. Clint pushed Phil, but didn’t let go, so that they both fell unto the mats.

"Turn it off now, JARVIS, thank you." Steve said quickly. The feed quickly cut off.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Tony protested.

"Come on, Tony. They should get their privacy. Oh, and JARVIS, please turn off all recording in the gym until Agent Barton and Agent Coulson request to be let out." Steve said. 

Tony muttered “Fine.” and they all resumed watching Star Trek. He could just tease the two agents about it later. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/96712871601/so-much-cheesecake-in-fridge-cant-go-on)
> 
> [Here's the ask box.](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/ask) Send it there so I can add it to my queue.


End file.
